The matte queen suntan hose in an egg that I used to wear is passe.
My control top sheer black reinforced toe nylons are at the bottom of my sock hat box.
Sometimes I still fight gravity and pull those bad boys up.
Sometimes I redistribute and smooth out the remnants of my carb habit for a happy aesthetic.
But in general, I have gone the au naturale route and decided to forgo panty hose to the chagrin of my 1950s high school graduate mother. WWGS (what would grandmother say.) Hey, at least I’m wearing a rain hat!
Well, pantyhose ain’t working for the melanin challenged like myself anymore.
GOSH DARN IT, I’m feeling spanx invade the opera page these days.
These days, I sing the big beefy music like I ate it for breakfast. Gimme some thick Wagner, robust Verdi, and fat Puccini before noon. I’m all good.
Give me opera arias that I used to sing on the periphery of my voice type; just an inch too high with close interval approaches……
Fugeddaboudit.
I’m singing the Gilda part of the famous Rigoletto quartet for a concert next weekend. For some reason, this isn’t hard for me.
So I thought, why don’t I try something else a little lighter than my usual fare as my aria.
I can hear the “you lose” price is right musical motive as we speak.
My hare brained self attempt to float “Doretta’s Aria” from La Rondine was an epic fail. WTF.
The first page was fine.
The second page even with the high c was pretty good.
Page 3 devoured me.
I felt like a freshman undergraduate voice major trying to sing “Apres Un Reve” for late April voice seminar during allergy season.
By the end, I was wearing my larynx like a tiara.
I told my coach. Enough. I don’t have to sing this. Let’s sing some easy Chenier shall we?
So we did. I mamma morta-ed and circled back to my neighborhood.
My spanx death hold released and my voice filled back in.
La Mamma Morta; a picnic it is not for most singers. But it is where I live now. While other vocal fachs wish to sing the big meaty tunes, I wistfully listen the caro nomes and sempre liberas and wish I could golden trill my way through arias.
But it shan’t be and I’m not complaining. I love the heroic music that suits me. I am lucky and will continue to work on my craft until I’m on the other side of the ground.
I remember bringing in the glorious Ruhe Sanft to my vocal guru Patricia O’Neill at LSU. After I finished squeezing my square throat through the round Mozart peg, she said “what were we thinking? Were we smoking crack?”
Spanx are ok I guess.
Singing various styles is needed as a professional singer.
But coming home, spanx-less and fancy free is a great treat.
Thank you opera masters for writing music for gals like me.
#gratefulwagnerwench
#akintsucrooner
akintsucrooner 