10.3.23 8 years legally married to Elizabeth Honer. Grateful.
She’s made me more patient. I’ve helped her to be more bold.
We annoy each other. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst. We misunderstand & overreact. We make up & try our very best for each other.
She has my first bite. I enjoy early mornings more. She has begun to appreciates late nights.
I don’t always automatically buy the largest size now. She is more open to extra-ness & frivolity.
One frown doesnt flummox our whole day anymore.
I like birds now. She can recite the exorcist now. She watches the bachelor/ette with me providing pithy narration. I root for the Suns.
She doesn’t completely roll her eyes in full rotation when my bi comes out for Channing Tatum. I join in with her in appreciation for the beauty that is Starbuck.
We both feel fortunate to have been given this soulful connection when we never thought it was something gifted to us gays. We know that there are still those who don’t “agree” with who we are/don’t recognize our marriage/wouldn’t endorse our union but we remain hopeful that this won’t always be the case.
(EG 5 aka Eris Greek goddess of strife and discord; descendant of Omicron)
I went for over 3 years without catching Covid 19 Coronavirus. I was hoping to keep up the trend. C’est la vie. This month, I have been dealing with significant reactive airways starting about 9.16.23. My cords were swollen and I had bronchitis. I lost most of my voice for about a week. I wasn’t stuffed up. I had taken a couple Covid tests and I continued to be clear. I had been on the mend this week before I got Covid and my voice had mostly come back.
On Tuesday 9.26 I was stuffy and didn’t know why. Wednesday night I lost my sense of smell which drove me to test. When I tested the Covid line came in immediately and dark. My guess is my day one was actually Tuesday if not before.
DAY ONE: WEDNESDAY 9.28.23
POSTIVE COVID TEST DAY ONE: WEDNESDAY 9.27.23
I had a full teaching day at school and Wagner voice students at night. I was feeling stuffed up on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn’t understand why I was still stuffy since my reactive airways allergies have been waning. I had a runny nose and infrequent cough. My voice seemed scratchy but not swollen like it was from bronchitis. I could access my whole voice at rehearsal. I was drinking tea and having cough drops to be able to breathe Wednesday night. I realized I couldn’t smell after I finished my last student. Something told me I needed to test when I got home. When I tested, the Covid line immediately came up. Weird to see for the first time the decisiveness of this test. So, now I’m out of school and singing until Tuesday. I am no longer contagious after 5 days but I will need to wear a mask on Wed, Thurs, and Friday at school next week. It’s so odd to have everything on my schedule just cleared. I don’t have many days including vacations that are completely clear so this is wild especially when I basically feel fine.
DAY TWO: THURSDAY 9.28.23
Eliz has tested and she is clear. We have 2 floors so we are distancing. We will be able to embrace again on our anniversary date 10.3 cue violin.❤️ I feel stuffy and my throat is gravelly with a bit of smell returning. If this wasn’t Covid and so infectious, I would be conducting business as usual. I’ve worked when I’ve felt far worse. I don’t feel fatigued. When I took a vitamin, it wouldn’t go down. It made me want to gag which surprised me. I could swallow when I cut it in half. I am somewhat sweaty later in the day. I went to the doctor who confirmed covid. I was eligible for paxlovid but the doctor said it was up to me; that they didn’t recommend it since my symptoms are so mild. I would also need to check with my doctor who prescribes my anxiety meds as paxlovid is toxic in combination. I really appreciated the input as I have been hearing mixed paxlovid reviews and I always prefer to err on the side of less is more with medications. The doctor prescribed it for me regardless; letting me make the decision. I decided to see how I feel on Friday.
DAY THREE: FRIDAY 9.29.23
I slept well and got a sleep score. I am less stuffy and have more smell. My voice is fairly clear except for above A5 which is thick. The paxlovid is on back order. ———
Runnier nose. More smell. Some coughing. Stuffy ears. Night sweats.
DAY FOUR: SATURDAY 9.30.23
More solid sleep. Runny nose and not stuffy. I took a test and the covid line was very faint. My guess is I was asymptomatic before I tested positive. I know I was stuffy Tuesday night so this may be day 5. I spoke with my doctor about my anxiety meds and their interaction with paxlovid. She advised that I should take the meds just spread out when I take them. I now know what the paxlovid metallic taste means. Lol.
DAY FIVE: SUNDAY 10.1.23
No more runny nose today. Voice a little lower than yesterday. Feel very “normal”. My Covid test this afternoon was negative. Whoo hoo! I go back to school on Tuesday.
It’s a wild ride when your income (and sometimes self esteem) relies on 2 small pairs of tissue flaps every day….oh vocal folds, you tricky troubadour…
Emotions stemming from the condition of a singer’s throat can range from euphoria to crippling anxiety in a split second….
A singer is often at the mercy of many variables including weather, emotions, indigestion, hormones…..
After studying voice since my adolescence and driving myself a bit bat sh*t crazy over the years with frequent voice checks……testing one two three…..are you there…I now use a percentage system which saves me from a lot of consternation…
1. Some days the voice will work like a solid indestructible 1970s harvest gold appliance……
I call this an 80% day. These are my favorite and the majority of my days; no surprises, a reliable spinto-riffic throat.
2. Some days I need to intentionally conjure below to access my 80%…..
I call this a 60% day. I rise early singing sirens, stretching, hydrating, adjusting passagio & registers, and ng-ing thru the range making sure to also find my oo. I negotiate as my voice leads for vowel security with unvoiced F/small intervals/ee vowel…..
3. When my speaking voice is tacit and cords won’t come together, it’s time to shut up (after I’ve freaked out if it’s performance day). If at all possible I need to rest, hydrate, and not make sound.
This is a 40% day. My cords are too thick and swollen to easily phonate. It is not advisable to sing.
4. Then there are the days when all works without reason plus some new special bells/whistles, and enhanced abilities.
This is a 💯 day. While these few days a year are fun, they aren’t my favorite. Singing by acquired knowledge and organic sensation has been the essential key in the advancement of my vocal journey.
As a result of above, I have developed this chart below to clarify the vocal percentage characteristics and guide my voice students of all ages as they become vocally autonomous.
I was at 60% on September 16th. I had a high profile choral gig that day. At 5:30am, I was gingerly warming up at the level of my fatigue. I recorded my warm up for my voice students. Yesterday, my days later, I recorded my restored 80% voice.
As one of the vocal studio assignments, I asked my wagner voice students to compare and contrast the recordings and share their findings. These connections are especially important for emerging singers as propioception (Kinesthetic awareness) is crucial in developing a reliable, vocal pedagogical core technique.
I was delighted to read one of one of my voice student’s astute comparison to my 60% and 80% day. They definitely understood the assignment.
Easier time reaching higher notes
Tone is clearer
Speaking voice is not as raspy
More access to breath (possibly because of the asthma calming down?)
Survival was achieved on a turbo crackadocious school week. This week includes a continuing sinus infection and bronchitis; tacit singing voice, college observers; full day teaching with chorus/play auditions as well as Wagner voice students (sans a thursday jaunt to get some needed meds.) Thank you Liz Dinardi Disano for the thoughtful and soothing hot tea this morning.
Despite a few brain buffering moments; I’m functioning at a half way to my next oil change level.
Highlights of this week:
Kids: Where did you get the house tissue box? Me: From my mom Janet Perryman. Kids: That was so nice of her to share with the judd kids. —- Me: My name is Elizabeth like yours. Kid: You’re silly. You are just Perryman. —- Kid: I want to play Pinocchio in the play. I lie a-lot and I’m not lying about how much I lie. —- Twins (One pointing to the other): She’s the better one. ——- Kid: I’m gonna eat you. You’re tasty. —— I continue to wonder why chicken butt is a popular thing to say and fun to chuckle at… —— If I am fatigued just enough, I’ll consider giving a paw pass to a 4th gr student who is willing to tie my shoe. Hypothetically speaking that is 😜 —- I’m a charge thru, get’ er done, look on the bright side, and process at a later time gal. I didnt dwell on learning loss while we were virtual. I kept it moving and did what we could. When we came back full time it was a major reveal to witness their new needs. The difference between how well the kids read their lines at the play audition this year and the last 2 years was substantial. Major kudos to the teachers who have been working their butts off. Considering these 3rd graders were pre-K when the world shut down, (missing a critical traditional Kindergarten year,) they’ve come a long way.
Yesterday the Newark Cathedral Choir sang at the national shrine in DC for the NJ pilgrimage. It was a special day and an extraordinary place. Grateful to be a part of this group. I woke up at 530am with significant ragweed throat covering passaggio points/sinuses/cough, and a beginning of the year teacher throat. I conjured every drop of vocal technique I have acquired since 1982. Made possible by ee vowel, ng, and unvoiced consonants, I was able to segue from a 60% to 80% throat by mass and sing with fellow music ministers with a needed robust head voice. When we got home at 11pm, my voice was on hiatus. After 15 hours of sleep, what the, I’m feeling restored and ready for a big week of school.
Shenanigans of the day traveling with this crew. Things I discovered:
My derrière hurts in bus seats. I feel more empathy for kids who daily take the bus.
Bus seats without a place to put items pose a problem. Next time I’ll come prepared with a contraption to have a place to hold my drink or phone. I like gadgets ya know.
I’ll never not like rest stops; always an adventure.
I have more creature comfort needs in the middle age. Getting back into our car at the end of the night felt like sweet sweet freedom.
Elizabeth Honer and I always have a lot to say but it’s nice that we both feel content to just stare into space when we are fatigued.
I tend to start shenanigans on buses when idle. I plead elementary teacher occupational hazard. Alas, no one chimed in as I began a rendition of 100 bottle of beers on the wall. Paul Rajah
I observed the following riding with many adults mostly middle aged: there’s WAY less talking than the kids, no one worries too much about seat belts, it’s very laid back in comparison to how kids are monitored these days.
(Hibernating post trip brought wild dreams spanning from being straight to having a week straight of faculty meetings.)
Today I remember the depraved human violence of 22 years ago. So much violence came before 9.11.01 and despite that day’s urgent call to unite, so much violence continues to infect our world. Our lives are not guaranteed and our authentic selves will not always be accepted. For these reasons alone, I call out into the universe a disparate way of living. May we continue to build a collective inner confidence where our acceptance of each other is based in shared humanity.
I use a quick reference, vocal health percentage system with my college and adult voice students. In my own singing, having a system has helped me to really know my voice, assess where I am, and know what exercises to use depending on vocal condition. After years of study, I can now intrinsically feel what is needed. 100% is the top of the chart. In my experience these days come along maybe 4/5x a year. Everything works without thought and then some; the voice is akin to a high end luxury vehicle. I don’t like these days. I’d rather a solid 80% where it’s reliable without any unpredictable extra bells and whistles. Well today was one of those 100 days and it was a hoot. My high C6 just cascaded out of me at 9am; followed by at least 5 more. There you have it.
O God Beyond All Praising-Holst/Hayes Glen Ridge Congregational Church
I’m not a big hellfire and horns gal (unless it’s an opera or I’m conjuring my inner villain;-). I believe these fiery images of damnation have served to control others and have caused trauma & pain in our world. That being said, I appreciate the idea that being on the extreme fringes with others with no common ground can be a fair depiction of how hell could manifest. I was moved by Pastor Jeff Mansfield’s exploration of the Christian dance; the humble and tenacious approach needed when solving conflict with others of whom we have deemed to err. Not easy to do for sure but definitely worth striving for. Today’s reading was Matthew 18: 15-20 at Glen Ridge Congregational Church.
Today is the birthday of my maternal grandfather, Michael Alonge. ❤️ He was born on 9.9.1909. He came to the US from Sicily with one of his arranged parents. Grandma Angelina Fiumefreddo didn’t especially like Grandpa Samuel Fiumefreddo who slept in the basement. Oh the good old days;-) Grandpa Michael worked for the Burlington Railroad in Chicago. He connected with many diverse people there which was uncommon at the time. They appreciated his fairness and many came to his funeral in 1976. He married my Grandma during the depression and built their home in Riverside in 1942 where Apollo Gama now lives and makes music. Grandpa could be anxious but I remember his storytelling, playful humor, and sweet smile. He and Grandma Alice sent my mom to Riverside Presbyterian Church when she was a child where she built many connections. She joined the church last summer and loves being a part of the choir with director Sally Sloane. ❤️
