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E. Perryman #akintsucrooner

4.24.22

Be not afraid. Do not fear. I am with you.”

These words often soothe me when my fears take over. Believing that I am worthy of love carries me through my anxiety. But oftentimes life’s roulette challenges my ability to cope.  

A year following the death of my father, I experienced the other side of fear. 

My father visited me in a vivid dream. The message he left from this meeting has never left me.  

He was waiting for me at the back door by our utility room. His eyes were sad and his cheeks were stained with tears. When I opened the door, his comfort and compassion flooded the room. 

He said “What would you like to do today? We can do anything you want. We have all day.”

The day was a blur that felt endless.

I remember relief. I remember hope. I remember gratitude.

We shot 9 holes of golf carrying our clubs at par 3 like we used to do. 

I had this overwhelming feeling that my Dad came back to reassure me that he is always with me and that he deeply feels our loss. 

The memory of his face at the back door has never left me. 

The feeling of his empathy was ever present. 

And when I sing, I feel especially close to him. 

These gifts help me transcend fear. 

Thank you, Dad.