“Surreal is the abnormal, unexpected, like a small ship atop a building. Surprise is the crucible of surrealism.”
NOOM THERAPY has been quite the surreal trip through my personal eating domain.
My MAIN GOAL this year continues to be the following: I am not taking the crash diet express train.
Yes, it is temping to want to lose fast and shove down those feelings by choosing the brain free path.
Yes, it is tempting to throw in the towel and call myself a failure for eating a donut. What the.
Yes, it is tempting to enlist in calorie boot camp so I don’t have to do any emotional work.
However as I have seen time and again, this “easy” absolute regime has created deep divots in my eating foundation.
It was as if I was buying weight loss in credit. Each time I compounded my interest due with a slower metabolism, decreased self esteem, and a skewed food reward system.
So I continue to go slowly and release the toxic energy of past restrictive diets. I don’t feel much different than I used to except I have more options, less anxiety, more grace, and more knowledge.
I am still hyper aware of the social side eye or snark that may ensue when I eat “bad” food but the more I expect this type of response, the less it affects me.
This journey is a peeling away of the absolute think tank I’ve nurtured over the years. Anymore, the how, when, what and why I eat has become simultaneously more surreal and realistic.
Exploring the surreal has been essential because the conventional wisdom of my former eating hygiene has created unhelpful and potentially life shortening habits.
As I currently work through and maintain my current plateau I make sure to also focus on non scale victories.
I have been a victim to time eating.
It’s dinner time, I have to eat. It’s lunch time, I better eat. I can’t believe you didn’t eat breakfast, you ruined it for today. This is definitely dark age thinking when I see it written down.
So I came home yesterday. I wasn’t hungry. I had a satisfactory amount of calories for my daily log.
Even though dinner looked appetizing, I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge. I went about my night, got to sleep early which is unusual for me and woke up down 2 lbs on the scale.
It is new for me not to eat at the prescribed 8/12/5 hours. I am a long time member of “make sure you don’t catch yourself hungry” group. OMG. What will I do if I am hungry and don’t have anything to eat? If I really consider this thought, it’s pretty bogus. Nope, I am privileged. I don’t think I’ve ever been without a food source. Not sure why I can have this fatalist food mindset…..
The more I realize eating is not linear and not unlike various art genres (often realistic but dabbles in the surreal on occasion), the more I exhale and build new pathways.
Giddy up.
akintsucrooner 