Today, January 5, 2024, is my ten year anniversary of being a full time chorister with the Newark cathedral choir. Thanks to the fabulous Marion Gayles, I began subbing as an alto 2 in their 2003 Verdi requiem. I have A2 notes but don’t live there. I am very grateful to be home in S2 land now (sometimes S1 on the loud, high, and heavily orchestrated 19th century tunes). It has taken awhile to tame my not so forward and senza-less vibrato throat to play well with others in the motet sandbox but it’s coming along.

I have discovered the following since I acquired music box #5:

1. My name is Liz and I have been known to add vibrato to the end of phrases. I’m recovering.
2. Finding a springy vowel has helped my habit of taking my sweet ole time at onset.
3. As my singing twin Sandra Mercado has aptly pointed out; when “ppp” is needed in the soprano section; 2nd row tacit is the key.
4. Rhythmic accuracy is next to godliness.
5. Barometric pressure and intonation have quite the tempestuous rapport.
6. Acute listening to fellow singers cures many ensemble ails.
7. Placing that vowel right in the forehead whilst singing Renaissance achieves the desired high and bright.
8. Since Covid, passing of the peace with the cathedral choir has remained touchless. I approve. Singing is quite the spore-centric activity.
9. I love singing heroic Mendelssohn, Mozart, Brahms, and Anglican choral pieces.
10. My voice post vocal study enjoys singing in Eb4 and F#5 passagio. Hanging out stepwise between G5-B5 not so much.
11. Adding trills is fun.

I spent this afternoon digging into the score of my dear opera pal Suor Angelica with an amazing coach, thanks to Stephanie Weiss. It is a gift to be able to work with varied professionals with highly trained ears as we continue to bring the music off of the page. My takeaways to implement in my own practicing were significant, thanks so much to @arms_n_ivory.

1. More immediacy and less Perryman “sneaking into the sound.”
2. Detailed work regarding when to apply rubato as informed by text.
3. Making the needed shift to move the phrase by text; less so melodically. I have been guilty of popping a squat eg sitting on a pitch and not reaching with legato/moving the phrase.
4. Multitasking while taking a needed breath=no bueno.
5. Keep challenging myself to lead and not be the polite follower; no tempering feelings and personal honesty out of fear.
6. Align vowel spatial/height relationship; my epsilon E enjoyed joining the rest of the Italian vowel crowd.
7. Engaging the r, isolating specialty text, asserting a brave artist presence….heck, Suor Angelica talked back to mean ole Principessa, let’s do this…..giddy up.

https://youtu.be/vQ45zbzQVtg?si=R-oASQwrZjMnHBzt

Welp, I finally mustered the gumption to watch “pray away”. It’s gut wrenching to witness gay people, who have endured such deep self loathing, driven to lead an immoral, destructive, and deadly group like “exodus.” I know I’m very fortunate to have been born at a more accepting time in history. I have supportive family and friends. I can’t imagine how devastating it must have been for people in the not so distant past.

In my own experience, I just knew that nothing really measured up for me assimilating to a culturally groomed straight life. After I found courage (and my tightly twisted anger valve) to choose authenticity over fear, I now experience my life force continue to release as I live my truth.

As a “straight” person, I had the “luxury” prior to my 30s of never being questioned why I was straight.

As a “straight” person, I had the “ privilege” of never having to defend if I was really straight.

As a “straight” person, I had the “respect” of others not to assume that my private interactions were up for debate (according to someone else’s learned opinion. )

I still wonder if my middle Kinsey scale score would have looked different if was born into a world that didn’t assume straight until proven gay.

I have so much admiration for the countless warriors who continue to make strides to release the world of this hateful scourge that has been allowed to terrorize so many for so long. Pray Away Film

https://www.prayawayfilm.com/

On one of our first dates, Elizabeth Honer expressed to me that she really liked me. I was like wtf. I told her but I’m just a mf which intrigued her more apparently lol. And honestly one of the reasons I’m drawn to my particular faith is that despite my unintentional mf-itude, I’m still loved; which is really humbling. Cuz ya know life ain’t easy….

So I got this very thoughtful and unexpected note (thank you Nerisca Kaufmann) from a student I would have never ever expected. The student and I have had significant challenges in communication in the past but we have definitely turned a corner this year.

So yeah, I’m grateful for hope and the healing of time.

Giddy up.

Oh do I ever feel this quote on a deep level….

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

I have been a quintessential late bloomer in most areas over the years. In the 18 holes of life, my front nine has been filled with consternation and a long learning curve. Allowing myself permission to be myself, agreeable to others or not, continues to keep me on my toes. In the past, I didn’t know to even consider that there were much better life options available to me, more suited to who I am organically. I am eternally grateful for theater arts. The stage has always been my portal and foundation into finding myself.

When I was young, I was known by various nicknames; not uncommon to many children. However I was NOT the child who could just blow off a triggering comment from an instigating peer in grade school. I admire the students I see now who have this skill. It wasn’t my forte. Grand opera “feels” have always been a part of my emotional landscape.

I will never forget the people of all ages who were kind to me and respected my wishes as a single digit child when I was uncomfortable with a nickname. It took an epic amount of effort from this shy and socially introverted human to assert my will over my name. I’ve turned the corner on these fear built characteristics and would no longer be considered shy or introverted. However, it still mystifies me when I still encounter people, of whom I wasn’t close with, who continue to use these former names.

All of this to say that I was happy to find material regarding nicknames and their effect; positive and negative. I always felt bad for not just going along with the status quo. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who has been affected.

https://insight.openexo.com/how-our-name-affects-our-personality-and-identity-what-social-psychology-says/

https://insight.openexo.com/how-our-name-affects-our-personality-and-identity-what-social-psychology-says/

Upon my 11.27 Bday, these are 55 things I like, I’ve learned, and I’ve unlearned:

1. It’s still not easy to get up early but mornings are actually nice.
2. I can now finally tell when vibrato creeps in when I’m singing choral motets.
3. Appreciating the lack of aches and pains as a youth is lost on the young.
4. My parents were right; water really is a delightful beverage.
5. Despair does eventually wane.
6. Ponds is an amazing moisturizer.
7. I still stiffen up when I start to run and have to warm up before my legs loosen.
8. Triggers and instant reactions are hard to quell.
9. Obesity and cheapness/addiction of nutritionless fast food is an unfair fight.
10. Human attractiveness is alluring but it has too much power.
11. Right fighting plagues connections.
12. Over the years I have collected various stiff body parts (hands, forearms, tongue, shoulders, jaw) as a result of emotional trials.
13. Gift giving is complex and conjures many emotions.
14. Expectation is more exciting than reality.
15. I need goals and hope to be happy.
16. Children continue to show us the way.
17. Children often have to combat unfair assumptions from adults.
18. Religion is a wonderful and terrible tool at the hands of humans.
19. I will never fully be able to feed my feelings.
20. Riding coach is spatially demoralizing. 21. Mozart makes my soul happy.
21. Stages have always excited me.
22. I love games.
23. I love all that is shiny.
24. I love makeup.
25. I love exploring.
26. I love movies.
27. I love writing.
28. I love coloring.
29. I love being mischievous
30. I love singing with an orchestra.
31. I love Sundays.
32. I get a lot done in my parked car.
33. Negative energy really affects me.
34. I’m really nice until I’m not.
35. I would love to get a nose ring.
36. Group think makes my ass itch.
37. Easter is my favorite holiday.
38. Wicca is a misunderstood faith.
39. Jesus was a badass.
40. Buddhism is admirable.
41. Peace is a dangerous belief.
42. Swing music gets me excited.
43. Heroic soundtracks bring the feels.
44. Comedians are sexy.
45. Unassuming smart people are hot.
46. Erotica gets a bad rap.
47. I am often attracted to intensity.
48. Time does heal.
49. I think a lot about food in social settings.
50. Playing with playdoh relaxes me.
51. I like non messy food.
52. I love eating parsley and cilantro.
53. It sucks when someone says “you look tired”.
54. I want to start playing golf again.
55. I want to play the organ at ballparks when I retire.

Happy born day Elizabeth Honer❤️

She’s thoughtful and kind, she’s feisty and so sweet. She’s creative and handy and her baking doesn’t miss a beat.

She’s a birdie momma and an early bird, so excitable and keen. She’s existential and sporty, quite funny, and loves to daydream.

She helps me be better and makes me more soft, so glad I stole her garlic bread, and our roads finally crossed.

All my love, grrlrighter ❤️

Airport meal meanderings on a delay…..

DESTINATION: DINING
DATE: 11.22.23
LOCALE: OFFICE EWR Terminal A

I SAW JESUS RATING H20 turned into wine 🍷
TOP RATING Raised knife & fork 🍴
AVERAGE RATING Spork
LOWEST RATING Soiled napkin 🧻

D desirable background music 🍴 (Not too loud for old ears)
E effervescent soda balance (Tastes like soda from bar hub) spork
S satisfying beer 🍴 (Solid Brooklyn lager on tap)
T taste factor superior 🍴 (Solid chain nosh)
I ideal parking (Airport. Enough said) spork
N noticeable ambiance🍴 (New EWR Terminal A is nice/outlets in booth)
A aesthetic exterior (Makeshift/traveling restaurant) spork
T tidy and clean 🍴 (Newish)
I inviting vibe 🍴 (A little nervous)
O operational bathroom (Hike thru the airport) spork
N numerous menu options (Not too much of a choice/good beer pretzel)

D elicious pizza preparation🍴(Good crust not too charred)
I llumiated ambiance (Restaurant kiosk feel) pork
N eighborly diner 🍴 (Especially host)
I nvolved service (lemon given when requested none but more so asked if we could leave 30 min after sitting for other people to sit ) spork
N atural seating 🍴 (Bar like/nice booth)
G ratuity and prices (High) spork

Before teaching at Judd elementary, I worked for over a decade with middle school which is a whole other vibe. Humor is definitely darker. This mug reminds me of those days. I definitely had to pipe down when I started working with the littles; last century Perryman still pops out sometimes.

Tonight I was thinking about the tongue and cheek quips delivered over the years by various music directors. It definitely wasn’t delivered meanly or it wouldnt have worked for me.

Below are some of the humorously shady standouts over the years.

1. Your Czech was good. Your French was pedestrian.
2. Nice high A.
3. You have an impressive 9 note passagio.
4. Outside of f#5, you sound good!
5. Sing it with sparkle not like a incoming missile.
6. Don’t feel like you can’t be musical when you sing straight tone ;-)))
7. Just count, it’ll never fail you.

And the comment below wasn’t funny back in the day but it is REALLY funny now:

“I loved your fountain in the rain. You’re a pianist, not a singer.”

I gave myself shade myself tonight as I became hyper aware of the artificial covering I was doing on a Latin E mid voice:

Gee Liz, maybe you should buy an epsilon vowel for a 100…….

Some people have a singing voice that just works easily.

Some people have all the vocal ingredients but need to bake and shake for a few years to create an effortless sound.

And then there’s some people who are a recalcitrant vocal diamond in the rough (;-) and it takes time, trust, and technique to sound natural.

Depending on where a singer lies in their natural ability, learning to sing is not unlike a series of uncharted mazes.

Vocal technique is a lifelong quest. We gather rudiments, artistry, nuance, and adjustments as we age. Along with these benchmarks, we do crucial body/emotional work, and hopefully find a well meaning guide who will share a safe set of trustworthy ears. Releasing the intangible barricades that interfere with our ability to release is as important as establishing chiaroscuro bel canto vowels.

As a graduating member of the above described recalcitrant vocal camp, my dramatic soprano vocal tech satchel continues to fill with tools from varied sources including teachers, coaches, conductors, and peers.

Out of necessity (my dramatic soprano voice wouldn’t function without finding the solution) I have developed a series of trouble shooting vocalizes over the years that have helped me most especially build a reliable blend within the often dreaded C4-C5 range; an area that often flummoxes many singers.

I have begun working with a gifted fellow cathedral choir singer Maria Alu on this vocal mix area. I call it the last frontier. This is a common range needed for navigating cantor repertoire. Because much cantor repertoire lives in this middle world, a head/chest blend is essential for a successful balance.

Tonight, we found a balanced mix by using Maria’s “oo” vowel and voiced N consonant. We also worked on her embouchure ease and tongue release. As a result of these tools, the voice had more clarity and balance.

I liken voice teaching to detective work: so much to uncover, many contrasting clues, often mysterious, and no one size fits all solution. The hour flew by tonight working with Maria. And I learned something new: her lyric coloratura voice only goes into whistle on E6. What the. My big Bessie throat is already booting up some whistle action a 4th lower at B natural 5.

Huh. Giddy up. #akintsucrooner