Dagnabbit. I’m gonna be peeling myself out of bed tomorrow morning. A new wagner semester has begun and I’m hyped. Imo, College kids are to adults as the pre-K are to school age kids; fresh energy, innovative operating systems, endearing whimsy….like shiny pennies as my supervisor Jamie Egan would say….These darn inspiring young adults always get me firing on all cylinders similar to the incredible rush of performance.
Highlights included:
Hearing my student Jordan Polefka say “cancellato” in her NJ accent to her Italian coach Giovanni Longo and receiving delightful Jennifer Diaz earrings and bracelet.
A student sharing that her voice got tired over break because she was barking at a sporting event. The effectiveness pleased her despite the vocal fatigue.
Envy over a student’s amazing supersized fan.
Fun capturing a good vocal tongue release exercise using the word “egg;” a student’s favorite word du jour.
Feeling less like an aging Gen x’r as I rapped with a student about the epic “last of us” series and how it compares to the game.
Manifestation of a quick and dirty acronym that encapsulates my vocal technique; “Check Engine” graced the cover of my spring syllabus; students had great insights as the content related to their own vocal blueprint.
A few days after Barbara E. Gibbons passed away, I found a note and song Barbara had shared with me that I hadn’t seen in years. “A child waves goodbye” was a favorite of hers.
I mentioned the song to her daughter Julie De Klerk who said ”it would be too much to bring some of the kids choir kids right?” I said, “NO! Let’s DO it!”
So a select group of my chorus kids came and sang some of Barbara’s favorite sound of music songs.
I am so grateful for the parents bringing their kids who brought some delightful levity. Some of their comments:
Wow. I’ve never been in a church like this!
Damn, I’m in the wrong spot. Oops. (Looks at crucifix). Sorry.
Girl taking off shoes: these grown up ladies shoes hurt.
Ms Perryman, look at this extra seat (the kneeler)! Can I sit there? It’s soft.
In August of 2002, I left Baton Rouge to find my groove in NJ/NYC with one of my besties Ray Ray. I went to Mannes to get a professional studies diploma. That year, I just went to school and didn’t work. 2002-2003 was an odd, out of body orbit of the sun for yours truly. The swing of a singer is quite the ride. Euphoric, careful, exhilarating, maddening, devastating, informative, breezy, nauseating are descriptors that come to mind……
My first year in the east was a numb year. Dad died a year before. Tears were sparse. Feelings were buried.
I found a therapeutic oasis as a section leader at Glen Ridge Congregational church. Tears finally came while I sang hymns and heard UCC sermons.
My first Nj voice student was the gifted high school student Elizabeth Niewood. I met her talented Mom and Dad at GRCC and we connected.
It was a joy to work with her. We usually had lessons on Sunday. I was often alone on weekends and the Mannes PSD course load wasn’t too rigorous so I found myself going to matinee moves and window shopping with movie popcorn in hand. I looked forward to her lesson along with my church gig during the week.
I wasn’t yet out but the L Word was looming. Louisiana had been instrumental in unmasking my gay. 😉
Elizabeth N was a dedicated and sharp student. Her musical instincts freely flowed as an offspring of her formidable musical family DNA.
She went on to college and pursued the many paths that make her such a fabulous human today.
We haven’t seen each other in probably 18 years.
She reached out a few weeks ago to connect about having voice lessons again.
We worked today as if it hadn’t been almost 2 decades since our last lesson.
We explored her updated vocal blueprint from efficient vowels, free body breath inhalation/exhalation, independent tongue release, and register balance.
It was informative to hear her share the beginning germination of my evolving vocal pedagogy perspective from the vocabulary I taught her in my early 30s. Humble bragging about myself, I said I guess I didn’t stink then as a voice teacher. 😉
A voice student’s verbal reaction to singing by sensation often inspires me. I love collecting their kinesthetic and colorful musings. We all have such unique body responses to the act of singing. The teacher inputs code but each system has its own way to expedite the data.
In this delightful case, my student Elizabeth talked about how when it was right, it was out of body; motioning with a perfect NJ flip off hand gesture.
I love getting to share the singing swing with other artists. I feel grateful and love the perspective of age.
Puccini is to my brain as a swift shake is to a snow globe. Or so I experienced tonight…
In preparation for an upcoming recital at @wagnercollege, I took a trip through some of my more challenging arias tonight with musical coach extraordinaire Giovanni Longo.
It propelled me back into UNLV, LSU & Mannes days….a time of much musical uploading and mind stretching….
Singing advanced repertoire is a necessary and essential scope that keeps me on my toes…
Birthdays feel abstract. They are a potpourri of emotions especially as I face my double nickel benchmark in 2023. However I am very glad to reach them and grateful for the love.
Cookie cake from Mrs Fields is boss. Period.
A single familiar waft from the pass (eg lip smackers) can bring back many memories.
As an often demonstrative theater kid, I objectively get why some folks choose to detach from all of the feels.
I greatly appreciate how many enjoy the holiday tunes throughout November and December but I’m not ready to commit to listening to holiday tunes until mid December.
Ive tried but I really don’t like stuffing or pumpkin pie. I do love me some Turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits, and cranberry sauce.
It’s wild to watch hands, fingers, feet, and toes age. Gravity will prevail and according to my doctor, no one escapes cataracts. Human design flaw I guess.
One works to be real and immediate then you realize that very little is personal. The risk is worth it.
Tears have come for me as I age. Young me watched in awe at peers who had immediate access.
Bless those who can harness fears of the unknown. Nothing is promised and sh@t changes in an instant.
I like 11. So my list is going to 11. I can’t wait until the cancer scourge has lifted its devastating grip on humanity. It sucks.
Today I experienced the intangible power of helping someone in need. I have been so blessed with many people who have helped me over the years. This afternoon I was behind an elderly woman at the post office who was struggling to hear and see. She couldn’t afford to open her P.O. Box. She seemed confused. I asked if I could pay for the 6 months so she could get her key back. She let me and gave me a huge hug. She instinctively asked me if I was a teacher. Not sure how she knew. She asked what subject I taught and I found out she used to be a pianist and organist. She showed me her nyc officer badge from when she worked with child neglect cases. Her first name is Joy. It moved me deeply to be given this opportunity to help someone else. #grateful
“Surreal is the abnormal, unexpected, like a small ship atop a building. Surprise is the crucible of surrealism.”
NOOM THERAPY has been quite the surreal trip through my personal eating domain.
My MAIN GOAL this year continues to be the following: I am not taking the crash diet express train.
Yes, it is temping to want to lose fast and shove down those feelings by choosing the brain free path.
Yes, it is tempting to throw in the towel and call myself a failure for eating a donut. What the.
Yes, it is tempting to enlist in calorie boot camp so I don’t have to do any emotional work.
However as I have seen time and again, this “easy” absolute regime has created deep divots in my eating foundation.
It was as if I was buying weight loss in credit. Each time I compounded my interest due with a slower metabolism, decreased self esteem, and a skewed food reward system.
So I continue to go slowly and release the toxic energy of past restrictive diets. I don’t feel much different than I used to except I have more options, less anxiety, more grace, and more knowledge.
I am still hyper aware of the social side eye or snark that may ensue when I eat “bad” food but the more I expect this type of response, the less it affects me.
This journey is a peeling away of the absolute think tank I’ve nurtured over the years. Anymore, the how, when, what and why I eat has become simultaneously more surreal and realistic.
Exploring the surreal has been essential because the conventional wisdom of my former eating hygiene has created unhelpful and potentially life shortening habits.
As I currently work through and maintain my current plateau I make sure to also focus on non scale victories.
I have been a victim to time eating.
It’s dinner time, I have to eat. It’s lunch time, I better eat. I can’t believe you didn’t eat breakfast, you ruined it for today. This is definitely dark age thinking when I see it written down.
So I came home yesterday. I wasn’t hungry. I had a satisfactory amount of calories for my daily log.
Even though dinner looked appetizing, I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge. I went about my night, got to sleep early which is unusual for me and woke up down 2 lbs on the scale.
It is new for me not to eat at the prescribed 8/12/5 hours. I am a long time member of “make sure you don’t catch yourself hungry” group. OMG. What will I do if I am hungry and don’t have anything to eat? If I really consider this thought, it’s pretty bogus. Nope, I am privileged. I don’t think I’ve ever been without a food source. Not sure why I can have this fatalist food mindset…..
The more I realize eating is not linear and not unlike various art genres (often realistic but dabbles in the surreal on occasion), the more I exhale and build new pathways.
Today’s Noom prompt definitely challenges me to continue digging deeper into the distorted feelings that have adversely affected my relationship with food. The longer I Noom, the closer I get to my feelings. Logging, weighing, food choices, chemistry, caloric density are the weight loss brick and mortar but the emotional work is what is securing foundation. My distortion is mostly around not having the confidence to sit with my feelings and anxiety; needing food to numb out. One day at a time has been the ticket thus far….
NOOM PROMPT: Ever seen an antelope berating itself for eating grass after 7 p.m.?
How about a lion calling itself a failure because it ate too much for dinner?
We’re going to go ahead and guess no.
But how many times have you talked to yourself that way?
Unfortunately, humans do this to themselves all the time.
The last 10 months have been so interesting. I was less aware and more numb about unhelpful food habits last January. My YBP was motivated by blood work. Along the way I’ve been reacquainting with my elephant and rider and building their compromising skills. I am on my second trip thru the curriculum and am going slower this time. My goal is to get all the quizzes right, darn it. Also I really missed my daily Noom reading. For the first few months of nooming, I was close to licking the plate when I ate. I scanned past the Noom challenge to leave a bite on my plate. Now I’m better at it. Its the opposite of my old diets where I was “perfect” at the beginning and then later on I lost my will and began my scavenging period. Now I am able not to rush to my snack after school like I did in the past. I can actually wait awhile. What the. Days vary and my feelings continue to be tasty but my mindfulness is progressing. Daily weigh ins are wild. My weight really does fluctuate between sometimes 2-3 lbs. I’ve been at this 35 lb weight loss plateau now for a month but I’m not worried. I’m enjoying being at this weight and seeing what size I actually am without dysmorphia.
