akintsucrooner

ALLEGED INSIGHTS FROM A
MIDDLE AGED ELEMENTARY MUSIC TEACHER
PARANOIA #1 THEY WANT TO SEE ME SWEAT
It is a good thing when kids ask questions even if you are paranoid about being challenged. It is an opportunity for both of you to learn. I have often taken it the wrong way. When I am relaxed and excited by the question and work with students on the answer, my contrived power struggle disappears.
PARANOIA #2 THERE ISN’T ENOUGH TIME TO PREPARE
Yep, I work late like so many teachers and still nothing ever feels completely ready. Sometimes you just need to rest and include the kids in the preparation. If I could tell my 25 year self anything, it would be, breathe and move on. It will pass even though sometimes not so gently.
PARANOIA #3 THERE CAN’T BE MISTAKES
Mistakes are a constant. The more I am afraid of making mistakes, the more they happen. “Yes my little muffins, there is a typo….I meant to say fix not fox.” It’s going to be ok.
PARANOIA #4 I DO NOT UNDERSTAND TECHNOLOGY
I am not too mechanical. I have feared a possessed Reagan less than technology in the past. The power of Christ doesn’t compel this puzzle for me. An engineer, I am not, give me abstract and conceptual any day. The first time I lost text in the 90s without realizing that I could get it back, I almost had a panic attack. In the past, I would have never considered setting up a computer without any help. I don’t know how to that! Well, at least until recently when I really needed to use it. Somehow, I figured it out and it really didn’t hurt too much.
PARANOIA #5 I DIDN’T GET TRAINED IN THAT AREA
So, no, I wasn’t trained to work with special needs students. I have only ever worked with typical students up until the last 11 years. I was as nervous as a lady of the night in church when I first taught some of these youngsters. The poor kids must have felt my anxiety which probably added to their own. With the help of my North Brunswick NJ superstar colleagues, I am finding such a joy working with special needs students. They are so intriguing. Today, a student came up front and took my hand. I would have not been comfortable with the contact in the past. He looked at both sides of his dark skin hand and then looked on both sides of my hand. We smiled and he went back to where he was sitting.
PARANOIA #5 THAT WAS MEANT TO UPSET ME
I am slightly better at this one but I still react and take things too personally from students to adults. This will be a lifelong challenge. It rears its ugly mug in many parts of life. Sticks and stones may seem like the better option sometimes.
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Times are definitely tough, anymore. At least they are as far as this 49 year old can remember. I know that I have been blessed and privileged.  I inherited much by sheer luck. Times, indeed, have been much tougher for others for a long time. This humbles me.

Harsh opinions and fast judgements that used to be said in private and/or made you uncomfortable during a family gathering are now much more out in the open. This seems to be so now especially with the ease of expressing strong feelings on social media.

Political correctness always seemed like a put down to me but I’ll admit, I miss those days.

Trying to process the tangible vitriol after an alleged January 2018 s-hole week has been major feat. I greatly respect people, regardless of politics, who condemn statements that dismiss an entire human culture. Namaste, indeed.

Words in its wake that were soothing came from MLK Jr’s daughter, Bernice King. She spoke about her father’s life and how “his work should be applied to the current moment, where racism has again come out into the open.”  She talked about these “difficult times being a blessing in disguise; an opportunity for America to correct itself.” I was especially affected by her words about the racist diet of the past needing to be released.  We all have unchecked feelings and unfounded beliefs that we would only say to a few close people, benign or not. It’s time to get it out and move through these growing pains.

Our Pastor today was especially moving as he talked about not allowing fear and despair to be in control of our lives.  Celebrate life. Don’t give into anxiety and dread. Allow joy to be in charge. It shall be the biggest act of defiance in response to these uneasy times.

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Dear millennials, I am seeing a disturbing trend. Malls are becoming more and more sparse. When you start running our world, I have a request. Please don’t take away my malls. This magical land represents many memories like puppy love, special fast food joints, and favorite fashion memories. Give me a place to go when I’m in my 80s. I’ll be cruising around the mall, wearing my headband, bright color track suit, big earrings and frosted lipstick. It’ll be a good day outing for the blue hairs born in the 60s. Try to have miss Pac-Man, a record or cassette store, and perhaps a steak place for this generation Xer. If you mutter a quick “where’s the beef,” I may write you in my will. Love always, a fellow material girl, Liz P

CHRISTMAS

(Adapted from Pastor Don Steele’s sermon “God is with us when Christmas is not merry”)

This is a story filled with fear, waiting, and wonder.

The child born on this night came for the tired, poor, outcast, forgotten, and misfit.

It is not a tale of joy and plenty.

It does not give answers or solutions.

Not all will be all right or can made right.

Yet even with the darkness around us and inside of us, the promise remains; the light of this silent night will lead us through the darkness.

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Johnny may have only been able to sing one note but he sang the note well, so said Judy Garland in 1948. I wouldn’t say this is a singer’s coveted description of their vocal ability. And yet, as I continue to refine my Bel Canto legato in my vocal study, I am beginning to see some wisdom behind Johnny’s one note range.

Classical singer sand traps include singing all the right notes and rhythms with emotion while artistically delivering the line and language. Not an easy feat. Especially when you don’t always wake up with a throat running on all cylinders.

So my coach, Giovanni Longo, has been working with me on finding the one note in my voice. Pitches ascend, descend, and develop but ultimately, your voice should be one note. Holy Zen, Batman, I say. A singer needs a “Om” to call ” Home”indeed.

This may not be a new concept to some singers but I am just now hearing this perspective and it is very revealing.

I am now in a process of implementing it into my arias which isn’t an easy fix but it is a worthwhile chapter 11.

And of course, my eyes rolled as well as a 7th grader a week before a school dance, when I explained this concept to my Voice student today and she also realized the value of my coach’s insights.

All of which inspired the classic Robert Downey Jr meme.

So, after all of the woodshedding and rudiments of singing, you ultimately have to be like Johnny and sing one note well.

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BY E. PERRYMAN

11.14.17

“The quality of our breath expresses our inner feelings.”

“Blessed are they who are intimate with their breath, for they shall receive the ‘I Can’ of the Universe.” The Beatitudes

THE YEAR: 1973.

MY AGE: 4.5

SETTING: Singing with my Dad while sitting on top of his spinet piano. (To my fellow smarty pants, yes, I was once that small)

SONG BEING SUNG: My country ‘tis of thee.

And it sounded something like this:

“My country” (breath) “tis of me” (breath) “sweet land of” (breath) “liverty” (breath) “of thee I” (big breath) “sing”

THE YEAR: 2017

MY AGE: 48 (for 14 more days/13 when I publish this blog)

SETTING: Vocal coaching in NJ with Giovanni Longo

SONG BEING SUNG (or attempted:) Bellini’s Casta Diva

And the first run through sounded something like this:

(Capitals indicating a forte jack in the box dynamic albeit an attractive timbre)

“Caahhh-ah-ah- AH-ah-ah-AH–TAH–DEE-ee-ee-ee-VAH.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, indeed.

And, important to note, singing Bellini is an epic breath BS detector. If you are singing too heavy and aren’t free, Vincenzo shall see all. Oxygen levels should not be excessive.

The common thread connecting these 44 year apart stories is the use (or mis-use) of breath and phrasing. I know, I was only 4.5 but my 6 year brother didn’t seem to have the same problem when he easily sang “for it was flipper” sans breath.

No matter how far I am able to grow my vocal technique, should I be so granted, I suspect that it will always be a challenge to sing with easeful breath and even phrasing especially in Bel Canto repertoire. And the culprit of the sound disruption usually lies within tension, anxiety, and insecurity.

When I am able to support my sound freely, phrasing, legato and balance is much more accessible.

So, adding to my already teeming singing toolbox, Casta Diva shows me that I need to do the following:

1. Don’t sing so darn heavy.

2. Not all notes are created equal.

3. High doesn’t mean louder.

4. Sing through the vowels.

5. Vocalise piece on a homogenous vowel to steady breath.

Sure, I know I have heard some of this before but maybe the pasta will stick this time.

And there you have it.

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Dear singers,

Have you a vowel gremlin? Is this diction devil a cute nuisance that creeps into your pronunciation and gives fits to mostly your coaches, aka Giovanni Longo, and perhaps colleagues, aka Glenn Boothby? 

I have exorcised my AH vowel. I am mostly rebilitated. My open ah vowel is in pretty good shape. 

Alas, there is still the blasted u (oo) vowel. I haven’t quite escaped the short vowel sand trap. 

I sometimes catch myself. But mostly, I get caught singing a VERBOTEN short “oo” especially in my Italian pieces. I may feel myself rolling my eyes on the inside when reminded however the listener is usually right. 
It does sound better. It blends the registers better. It stays in tune better. 

So, I shall continue to fight my Chicago-ese and get my pure vowels on. 

#akintsucrooner